Friday, August 31, 2007

It's That Time of Year Again....

Time to get ready for the fall and winter holidays! No, I'm not talking about putting away a few extra dollars for those obligatory gifts for relatives you only see for Christmas. I am also not talking about winterizing your car or getting out the pumpkin carving supplies or the wreath for the door.
I am talking about preparing your body for the holiday eating season.
I have already started.
I plan to loose 10-15 pounds before Thankgiving.
And its not so that I can fit into a new pair of pants or a cute holiday outfit.
It is so that I don't come out in January even MORE out of shape than I am now. I can't afford that, so the best thing I can do is prepare for my inevitable holiday weight gain now.
There's no way I am going to cancel my Thanksgiving serving of turkey, sweet potatoes, rolls, pie, and cake. No way I am going to "not do" all that baking I do every year for Christmas. Don't even think about asking me to NOT dip everything in my cabinets in chocolate for gift giving and holiday enjoyment.
I will just prepare myself now. I KNOW it is coming, so the least I can do it get ready for it.
Come on fall, Thanksgiving, Christmas.
Everyone one should be as studious as I, as cunning and just plain out honest!
Why make yourself miserable later? Why turn down all those treats, giving yourself a microscopic serving of "turkey, oh no not ham for me" or a tiny little scoop of that deliciously sweet potato casserole? And avoid all those feelings of guilt when you didn't turn down another slice of pecan pie or coconut cake. I won't be feeling bad when I lick the bowl of leftover melted chocolate after dipping 100 peanut butter balls.
WHY?
Because I lost 15 pounds just to be ready for such an occassion as this!
Let the holiday preparation diet begin!

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Butter Sandwich

Two years ago, I was in the beginning of my second (and last) year of teaching first grade. Oh, the poor little county kids in the public school system. Some of them didn't have breakfast before school, a few rushed in late by parents who drove them to school with no driver's liscense in a drug induced haze and hangover. The stories could go on forever of how pitiful some of these kids lives were. For the sake of upholding tradition, I can't mention the normal, well adjusted families and children. They are the ones who get overlooked. Can't bother with those who can function and who are actually smart, we have to focus on the extremes for the sake of test time. (Please don't take offense "normal people", this is all in good fun and for the humor and sake of the blog).

Somewhere in the middle of those two spectrums sat a child named Sally (named changed to protect the identity of the poor soul described here, and to protect me since I have written about this student NO DOUBT the parent will happen upon this blog and hunt me down to sue me for slander or libel or something like that).

So back to the story: Sally. Sally was, how should I say it.....challenged in the arts of getting around and doing stuff with her hands. She held scissors as though they were a spear, cutting "above handed" if you can imagine such a thing. She walked clumsily in clogs her mom bought because she was the first girl in the family and no fashion trend would be passed by without a proper "go" from her first grader. Hair cut so that she couldn't lean over to do pencil work or any work for that matter without pushing back her hair, almost stabbing herself with aforementioned spear scissor hold. Cute as a bug, but unfortunately, a danger to the public and herself sometimes!

And....the child ate butter sandwiches for lunch.

The first few weeks of school the teachers sat with the students to "instruct" them in proper table manners. A whole other can of worms: 18 first graders and "table manners." *chuckle* I found myself on more than one occassion sitting next to Sally and, after squirting the contents of her Go-gurt down the front of her shirt, knocking over her milk in an attempt to clean it up, and then wetting everything she was wearing in the process of wiping her shirt, she would then open her plastic baggie and take out a BUTTER sandwich. Bread, butter, bread. I felt so sorry for her! What kind of a mother sends their child to school with a BUTTER sandwich?!?!?!? Surely they at least can afford some butter of the "peanut" variety?!? And how unhealthy for her! Didn't she know they offer free lunch for kids? healthy lunches on top of that?
I came home apalled! I shared with my husband "Can you BELIEVE that mom sent her child to school with a butter sandwich?" I just couldn't get over it.
Two entire years have passed.

I have never forgotten that student who ate butter sandwiches for lunch. I want to share with you, though, that I finally figured out what kind of mom would send their child to school with a butter sandwich for lunch, and I am one of them.

Hello, my name is Carrie, and my child eats butter sandwiches.
There really should be a support group.

It just kind of sneaks up on you.
Somewhere between the "I don't like peanut butter and jelly" and the "I don't like spaghetti" comes the butter sandwich.
One day you are making infant cereal, the next day its butter sandwiches.
If you have a child who is a picky eater you understand what I'm saying.
You don't mean for it to happen. You don't want to be a bad mom. You want your child to eat green beans and love wheat bread, but then one day you are looking in the freezer for one of the 4 things your child WILL eat, only to discover that low and behold after 10 days of eating chicken nuggets and corn dogs you are finally out of both.
What can I make for lunch? Look in the fridge....eggs (no), ham (no), butter...*yes!*. Thus, the butter sandwich is born, and I am reminded of Sally, and how I bet her mom wasn't really that bad after all.

Monday, August 27, 2007

My first blog!

Welcome to my blog! Woo hoo! I have a blog through a homeschooling website, but I thought maybe I would give the "outside world" a chance to read my wondersome and frightfully entertaining thoughts, ponderings, and musings. You will want to check back at LEAST every other day because your life will surely be enhanced by your visits to my blog! I guarantee that you will experience such delight and amusement upon each visit that I will refund your price of admission 4 fold each time you are dissapointed! You can't get an offer like that on anyone else's blog, for sure. I always have something I can say about pretty much anything, so comment away and let the fun begin! Check back soon for more greatness in blogging!