Thompson Family Rules

The time has come! We have always gotten by with simple correction and short time outs, but with the attitude of one particular Thompson child pushing the limits and our patience almost daily, we decided it was time to finally establish a set of official rules for the household, and consequences. We know that establishing rules and discipline actions way after the fact isn't a very affective method, especially if something in particular has already become a habit...so I guess what I am trying to say is we wanted to get a system in place before bad habits are formed and harder to change.

I've already established earlier in my blog that we have chosen to not use spanking as a discipline method. We just don't like it and will continue doing other things that have worked just as well for us.

I think a child should always know what is expected of them and know the consequences ahead of time, no surprises. God did that for us, right? A child should be able to enjoy consistency and love with their discipline as well. If we know ahead of time where the "line" is and what the "action" will be, then we will not be at our wit's end as early on, and have something to help us not "react" but to calmly and logically discipline and/or punish as needed.

Corey and I talked this afternoon to establish what we thought were the biggest needs for rules and establish the consequence that would go along with each one. Then we invited the kids to give out some ideas for rules they thought we needed. The suggestions they gave were quite funny...don't litter, no poofing (pooting), no punching in the face, don't light the house on fire, be nice, be loving, do things for others, no chanting, read good books at night before you go to bed, don't watch scary movies, no annoying sounds, no side kicking people, and no spending forever in the bath or at the table.

The suggestions for consequences were also funny....get grounded by losing a toy, get hit by a water balloon, and time away from the tv.

I have read a lot about making the consequences fit the action, and I think it is neat to be able to do that, but all offenses don't fit into an easy "eye for an eye" pattern, and I am sure what we have come up with will work just fine. It does leave room for us to do whatever we think is necessary anyway.

We then talked about their suggestions and how they fit into these categories and established the "rules" of the house. Here is what we came up with so far, and of course, we can always call a family meeting and change things if they don't work. Our main area of problem is whining/complaining, and being respectful.

Thompson Family Rules
1. Use Kind Words
Kind words will not include whining, complaining, or hurtful words toward others.
2. Be Respectful of yourself, others, and adults.
Being respectful includes waiting to talk, asking permission before using someone else's things or entering someone's room, responding politely to grown-ups, stopping what you are doing if someone asks nicely, and being considerate of other people's feelings and space.
3. Obey
Obey your parents, teachers, and the Bible (God).
4. Be Nice
Be nice to others and don't annoy people on purpose.

Consequences
If you break a rule you will get one warning to stop the behavior. After your warning you will get three strikes:

Strike One: 10 minutes of time out and a spoken apology to the person you offended. Time Out = sitting or standing alone, no talking, moving, singing, or interacting.

Strike Two: strike one penalties and 5 additional minutes of time out (15), plus a written apology to the person you offended or write out the reason your behavior is bad for the family.

Strike Three: strike one and two penalties and 5 additional minutes of time out (20) AND 1 complete day of no "screen time" and or/the loss of a toy or privilege that mom and/or dad choose, or additional chores for the person you offended. Screen time includes tv, video games, movies, and computer.

Exceptions:
Strikes can be erased throughout the day by mom and/or dad if extreme remorse and/or making up for the behavior is seen for a long period of time. Every day is brand new with no strikes! :)

So those are the rules....we'll see how it goes. The atmosphere of the house has changed just from discussing everything. I really and truly don't anticipate needing strike 3 really ever, but on extremely rare occasions. We made it this far with nothing at all in place except short talks and time outs. And, we do plan to talk and pray each time a consequence is needed. We want to emphasize a fresh start and a chance for redemption throughout the day. But, there are times that we as parents just needed something we could go to...an agreement from them on what is expected and an awareness of the predetermined consequences so they aren't surprised by what happens when they make a choice of bad behavior vs good behavior. The emphasis has always been on their choice and not us as parents just being mean and in control. There are reasons for rules...logical reasons. And when everyone abides by the rules/good habits then everyone is happier!

If we are away from home or in a place where any of the consequences cannot be immediately taken care of, then we will just keep track and discuss/take care of things once we can. Our kids are old enough now that it will work just as well.

In about a month, Corey and I will be attending the local homeschool expo. One of the exhibitors that will be there has some great resources for Biblical based discipline and other home organizational stuff, like chore charts, etc. They have a great resource I have seen in the past called a "blessings chart." It has specific good deeds and "blessings" you can do for others that have promises from the Bible connected to them. Then, the parent picks a specific reward for each good behavior that they can give the child. We plan on buying one of those at the expo and begin using it. We will have had time to establish some better habits by then and can add on some rewards at that point in time for going above and beyond the minimum expectation.

Tomorrow we start our first day of school for the 2010-2011 year. I am anticipating another fun year! More growth in all areas of our lives!

Laundry Soap 101

Overall, I am very pleased with my homemade laundry detergent! The process is way easier than baking bread, or sewing a pillow, or many other "homemade" things I have tried. I am NOT someone to do things the hard way...I mean, I buy bottled water and boxed cereal, so believe me, if this was too difficult I would NOT be saying I would ever do it again! But, it was TOTALLY easy and COMPLETELY worth it! I get my own detergent which only has ingredients that I put in there and it does its job well, so I have no complaints whatsoever! It seems that the "less" stuff a product has in it, the more expensive it is at the grocery store..so this is truly a value!!!!


Here are the supplies I purchased for my soap making adventure. (Yes, Bethany, I purchased a bucket...they looked so shiny and pretty and clean!) I also purchased a box grater because believe it or not I didn't have one already! I had a flat grater that was always annoying to me to use because you had to hold it up and it was always slipping, so I don't really consider the grater a purchase just for the soap...I really needed it anyway. Other than that I got Borax, Arm and Hammer Washing Soda, a big box of Arm and Hammer Baking Soda, and a 10 pack of Ivory.

My recipe:
1 bar of Ivory Soap, grated
1/2 Cup Borax
1/2 Cup Washing Soda (changing it to 1 full cup next time)
1/2 Cup Baking Soda
3 gallons of hot tap water
4 cups of simmering/boiling-ish water

I poured 2 gallons of hot water into a large stock pot and put on the stove on low/med low to keep it hottish. Then I filled my gallon jug once more and left it in the sink until time to use. This way I had all my bulk water ready when the time came.
Then, I heated the 4 cups of water to simmering state on the stove and then slowly added the grated Ivory soap and heated, stirred, heated, stirred, heated, stirred...until it was all dissolved.

You can see my clock on the stove in the background. I started heating the water about 6:40 and at 7:00 all the soap was dissolved and ready to pour. All the photos I saw had the water looking "dirtier" than mine with the soap mixed in, but mine was pretty clear.

Then, I poured all my prepared hot water (3 gallons) into the big 5 gallon bucket. I added the soap mixture from the stove, the Borax, Washing Soda, and Baking Soda. Most of the recipes I have read do not call for Baking Soda but I decided to add it because some of the recipes I read said that adding baking soda helps it to clean better and deodorize clothes more. Since I was not adding scented oils or anything for fragrance (you can do that, it is optional but we prefer no scents for skin sensitivity) I decided I could use the baking soda!
Anyway, you stir all that really well until it is all dissolved, slap on the lid, and you are done.

It took me about 40 minutes from the time I started getting my pots and ingredients out until the time I was totally finished. I can't believe how easy it was!!!!

I let mine sit overnight but I have heard you can use it right away if you need to. After it sits for a while it firms up some. I took an unbent wire hanger to stir mine before I scoop it out each time. It just hangs over the edge of the bucket with the lid on. I used 1 cup in my load I washed with it yesterday. It worked great! My clothes smell nice and clean and they feel fresh, no residue or anything.

I was told that you should wash an empty load first because it will clean out your washing machine really well and that could cause that first load to get yucky. I did do that.

I think the next time I make it I will use a full cup of washing soda in addition to the baking soda. Apparently the washing soda is what makes it lather up and I did noticed my load wasn't "bubbly" while in there, even though it worked fine, I just like for my soap to bubble, don't you? ha ha!

Aside from the bucket and grater, my supplies total cost about $12, which is enough to make at least 10 batches and it will make 12 batches if I just buy two more bars of Ivory. So, it cost me about $1.10 for my batch of detergent which I read that amount would be 52 cups of detergent, or 52 loads! That is over a month's worth of soap if I do a load per day! Talk about SAVINGS! 52 loads for about $1!!!!!!

I originally got my info from this website which does a break down of the cost and a washing test comparison! It is pretty interesting info.

I also got inspired by another friend's post about making laundry soap HERE.