Thursday, April 9, 2009

Birthday Countdown: Day Nine

Sullins' Spot asked:
When was a time in your life that you felt like the
world was crumbling around you
and God showed himse
lf in an incredible way?


Wow. I don't even know where to begin on this one today.

I guess it would begin with a time when we were just "scra
mbling" for lack of a better word.
I was working full-time at a job that depressed, exhausted, and wore me down. This, in turn, stretched the relationship between Corey and I to the limits. There was no time, no peace, no rest....just unhappiness, stress, and just "unrest" in general. I felt like a complete failure at ever
ything I was trying to do. I got terrible reviews at my job even though I was truly giving it everything I could! I was doing many things that I had the potential to do well at, but it came to a point where I was doing 10 things at 10% rather than a couple of things at 100%.

Then a wonderful thing happened. My mother-in-law told us that she was no longer going to be able to provide the wonderful child-care we had been receiving while I worked.

At first it seemed like a devastating situation. Corey and I argued what was the biggest argument we have ever had. He was stubborn and so was I. I insisted that I needed to just quit my job and stay home. He insisted that it was impossible and we would have to find another way. Our children were too young for "school" so we enrolled Katie in a 3 yr old program at Unity and we were searching for a day care for Noah.

This was impossible. There is no day care in the world that would be good enough for my little boy when I felt that I was supposed to be staying home with them both. The opportunity of a "way out" from my miserable job was also a huge draw. I was needed at home. My kids needed me. Our household needed me...and I despised working in the public school system. I am not trying to make myself sound overly important, but it is my personal belief that when you bring children into the world it is your job to be active and involved in their raising and teaching. People accomplish this is many different ways and it was obvious that God was putting all the pieces into place for me to do this as a stay at home mom.

This could become a very long story, but I will just say that ultimately we decided to try my staying at home. If it didn't work we would go from there.

Well...... it worked. Katie was even able to go to attend her year at Unity.
With having more time at home, I was able to meet some great Christian neighbors who also homeschool. God even arranged a friend's deployment to coincide with this critical time in our lives so that his wife would be living less than 5 minutes away and provide daily encouragement and information about homeschooling....easing us into the frame of mind that this was something we could do.

I was able to be a better wife and mother.
The budget ended up working. We found that we just had to make decisions based on what would provide the most emotionally rich lives for our children, not necessarily the most "rich" lives for our children.

How would you feel if God took away your happiness in a job you dreamed of doing your entire life? If God took away your perfect childcare and your incredible health insurance, and your ease about the future lives of your children? What if God took away your peace?

God took away our child care so that we would make the choice to do what He placed in our hearts with my staying at home.
God took away my happiness at my job so that I would easily and freely leave it with no regrets. God took away our government insurance so that we would seek out more natural remedies and a healthier lifestyle. (Katie is now off allergy medication and we have had maybe 1 or 2 prescriptions for antibiotics in the past couple of years) God took away our peace with the local school system so that we would make the choice to homeschool which is such a perfect fit for our children and family... (which then resulted in us finding that Katie needed glasses). God took away the peace in our hearts so that we would make a major change. A change that took us away from the comfort of what we had known for years, but that placed us exactly where we needed to be. (as a musician and teacher in a church plant project, and in a church with other homeschoolers and programs for homeschoolers!).
We don't eat out every night anymore. We eat healthier food. We don't argue as much. We have more friends. Our children have more friends. I have time for what is important in our lives. We don't spend money "getting away from it all" every other weekend because the weeks seem so overly stressful. We are growing closer together as our children grow up, and have PEACE that our lives are on the right path.

God takes away... but what does He want YOU to put in that place? It will always be something better.

I do want to say that we are thankfully being provided with insurance. That is not to be overlooked. But, it is a well known fact that it is expensive and difficult to come by private insurance that is as well-paying and easy to use as the government provided stuff. When you have to consider that it is now going to cost $40 for the visit, and the Rx coverage will be impossible to predict...you finally take the time to explore your other options. This is how it worked for us anyway.

Thanks for the question Amy, it really made me think long and hard and gave me the courage to share....
I am loving the variety of questions everyone asked!!!

Tomorrow I will answer Joy's question:
What have you scrapbooked lately?

7 comments:

Karen said...

Wow! What a wonderful testimony! I knew about some of it, but was unaware of other parts. You just don't know how it broke my heart to have to stop baby sitting, but your outlook on the situation and God's purpose in it all helped heal my pain and regrets. His plan was not instantly recognized, but isn't great how you can look back over the years and see how things just fell into place? Out God is so good...

EmileeHopeBinkleyTurner said...

That is a beautiful story of how God works in ways that we don't understand at the moment. He is the master at turning a horrible situation into exactly what we needed for a wonderful turnout!!

Anonymous said...

Carrie, I love to show your blogs to Jazzy. it is nice for her to see who she writes letters to. I will have her send Katie a picture of her the next time she writes so Katie can see what Jasmine looks like. The testimony is awesome. It is so nice when we "Let go and Let God" even when we don't think it will be at the time.
Donna B. in Okla.

SoCalVal said...

You are such a blessing! Thanks for sharing.

Love, Valerie

Andy's Bethy said...

I feel like I knew that whole story, pretty much from start to finish, and my heart was still touched when reading it. That confirmation that GOD IS in control, even when it feels like things are falling down around us, well, it is a wonderful thing to witness. Thank you for sharing it openly and for giving HIM the glory.
I love you Carrie. I am so glad to have you in my life.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing your story. Ours is similar in many ways. I'll share with you one day. I pulled up your blog and "Revelation Song" came on. We are singing that in church this Sunday-I just learned it last night at Praise Team practice. Love it! Gives me goosebumps.
Laura

Southern Wife said...

Carrie,

This entry spoke to me so very much. In some ways I feel like I'm in the midst of a very similar circumstance, and reading your words reminds me to focus on what is most important, and also on the promise of HOPE. Thank you for sharing this!

Lindsay